to ella risch, you have no idea the damage you have caused me but also the saving you have done. Ive lost you and found you all over again and im scared. can we stay the way we are forever. love is not something god created to be abused. you love me despite my emotions that keep me at war constantly. You have loved me softer, harder, and somewhere in between. you know how to keep me going. laughing. crying. smiling. and you make sure i dont feel the need to die. although i go in and out of feeling the need to die, you are constant. even when i was hurting myself and in return hurting you, you knew how to help me. i stay alive for you. I stay alive knowing that we will grow old together. you as a pilates mom and me as an unconventional mom. itll be great. i dont feel the need to lie to you about how im feeling anymore. this isnt stuff that is worth saying aloud. but for some reason i seem to need to. i think its because i want you to know how much i appreciate you. i love you to the moon and back. ill take you there with me.
Written by darling-turtle-529
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